Myths About Nerds

Over the years, nerds have made many sketchy statements which have typically been repeated over and over, but are any of these assertions true? In this article, we’ll address some of the most common myths, as well as the outright lies, which are often perpetuated by nerds.

1) Myths about anime and manga (collectively “anime”)

1.1) Myth: Anime is produced for an adult audience

Truth: Almost all anime, e.g. Pokémon and Yu-Gi-Oh!, are made for children. The rest caters exclusively to perverted adult males with the psychological traits of children.

1.2) Myth: VLC Player is horrible and you should use MPC in conjunction with this or that codec pack.

Truth: Being obsessed about what software other people use, even when it has no effect on your life, is a common trait of Nerdistic Behaviour Disorder. VLC works fine.

1.3) Myth: Streaming anime is unacceptable.

Truth: This is true. It is also socially unacceptable to watch, obtain or distribute it, unless you are under the age of 13.

1.4) Myth: It’s called “loli pornography” because viewers self-insert as the loli.

Truth: Nerds will never admit to being paedophiles and will make ridiculous claims such as these in order to justify their sick perversities.

2) Myths about Open Source Software

2.1) Myth: Free Software and Open Source Software are two different things.

Truth: A large portion of the Free Software community started referring to Free Software as “Open Source Software” in order to distance themselves from Richard Stallman’s hateful agenda. That difference aside, they are essentially the same thing. We ourselves choose to use the term “Open Source Software” as we want nothing to do with Stallman.

2.2) Myth: Open Source Software is secure because anyone can scrutinise it.

Truth: While it is true that anyone in theory could audit an Open Source project, that does not automatically make it more secure. Open Source Software is rarely ever scrutinised, let alone by reputable security experts. There have been cases of backdoors and vulnerabilities in open source projects lasting for decades before being spotted. Sources: [1], [2].

2.3) Myth: Open Source Software ensures users’ freedoms.

Truth: The availability of source code makes no difference to the end user. Meanwhile, Open Source Software ensures that shady third parties can bundle malicious software with your code and publish it on online marketplaces (e.g. Google Play) for profit.

2.4) Myth: Open Source is the solution to quelling NSA surveillance.

Truth: Open source makes it easier for the NSA and other government agencies worldwide to find flaws they can exploit. Additionally, the NSA’s infrastructure is largely based on open source software, so by contributing to open source, you might inadvertently be assisting the NSA.

2.5) Myth: What most people refer to as Linux is, in fact, GNU/Linux.

Truth: The core GNU software in combination with the Linux kernel is insufficient for creating a fullworthy operating system. There is no reason to give GNU special treatment in the naming of the operating system, when much of the included software is supplied by dozens of vendors other than GNU.

2.6) Myth: Using Linux is educational as it teaches you a lot about computers.

Truth: Using Linux teaches you how to use Linux. This might come in handy if you want to become a computer repairman, i.e. the bottom of the barrel in the IT sector and as far as you’ll get from being a scientist (see 3.4).

2.7) Myth: Audio/drivers/video games/Wi-Fi are unnecassary.

Truth: Nerds will never admit that Linux and similar operating systems are poorly made and, depending on distro/hardware/etc., will not be able to meet trivial requirements such as being able to use Wi-Fi, play a video game or output audio. Instead, nerds will make sure to never demand these things of their computers and claim that such needs are unnecessary.

2.8) Myth: Linux, in the form of Android, is a massive success on mobile.

Truth: In terms of marketshare, yes, Android is very successful. However, no phone vendor other than Apple is able to make a substantial profit, let alone make 93% of the total market profit. Android also has a near-100% marketshare on mobile malware, as Google seems more intent on squeezing money out of their operating system rather than ensuring its quality.

2.9) Myth: I installed Linux for my {brother/sister/cousin/friend/relative} and he/she thinks it’s better than Windows.

Truth: Let’s not fool anyone here; most likely, your friend or relative came to you for help with their computer. Instead of fixing the issue, you pushed Linux on to them, claiming it’s easier to use and more stable. A non-nerd would have fixed the issue without installing Linux, or left it alone entirely.

3) Myths about nerds

3.1) Myth: Nerds are more capable of critical thinking than the average person.

Truth: Nerds regularly repeat each others sentiments (such as the myths on this page) in echo chambers such as 4chan’s /a/ & /g/ boards, YouTube comments, Twitter and kiddie internet forums. It is extremely common for nerds to believe that they are special, faultless, enlightened, euphoric or otherwise more intelligent than the average person, thus making it difficult for them to accept that their beliefs don’t necessarily apply to the real world. As such, nerds are severely disadvantaged in terms of innovating and thinking outside the box.

3.2) Myth: Fat people with small penises actually have large penises under their fat.

Truth: Obese nerds make up stuff like this in order to cope with their insecurities.

3.3) Myth: Nerds will one day be your boss.

Truth: Most nerds end up unemployable because of their lack of real-world skills, social ineptness and unwillingness to learn. Not only will your average nerd never become a manager, but he will most likely remain NEET or, if he’s lucky, work as a cashier for the rest of his life.

3.4) Myth: Nerds will become scientists or hold other high-level roles

Truth: It is common for nerds to stand on the shoulders of giants and make outrageous claims like these. The so-called “nerds” who’ve helped moved science and technology forward for thousands of years have nothing in common with the nerds who promote Linux, Minecraft and Ron Paul. A prerequisite for innovation is that there are problems which need solving; nerds are not solving problems, but are instead reinventing the wheel because they are under the false belief that a solution provided by Microsoft or Apple is inherently evil.