Jimmy's Story

Jimmy considers himself a normal kid. He has friends which he prefers to socialize with using social media such as Instagram, WhatsApp and Snapchat.

Sometimes he'll spend up to 18 hours a day surfing the web. And in the rare occasion that he isn't surfing the web, he'll watch anime or play Minecraft.

Jimmy identifies himself as a libertarian, and he often spends time advocating libertarian candidates such as Gary Johnson for president.

Jimmy finds he prefers open source software because he thinks it is better developed and safer.

Last month, Jimmy switched to Linux and took up a new hobby: programming and web development. He enjoys this very much.

Jimmy publishes his software under an open-source license on a code-sharing website. On occasion, he will contribute to his online friend's open source project on GitHub.

Does Jimmy sound a bit like you?

You see, Jimmy isn't mentally healthy. And if he sounds anything like you, you're most likely ill too.

While Jimmy's doings may seem innocent, he isn't very productive at all. He might spend up to two days fixing his WLAN or a week upgrading his Linux distribution. Jimmy doesn't realize it, but his mental well-being is declining rapidly as he becomes more and more obsessed with the foolish concept of "open source" software.

Jimmy has a girlfriend; her name is Sakura Haruno and she has pink hair and green eyes. And while it might not sound like it, Jimmy is still a virgin. Why? Because Sakura is an anime character.

Chances are that although you might not share Jimmy's exact story, you are just as sick and things are going to get much, much worse if you don't act now. However, it's not too late. There is still hope.

So, what can I do?

First of all, don't panic. Taking rushed decisions will not help you—it's more likely to make your life worse. When you have thought over your mental health status and decided to take action, see a psychologist. He can identify mental illnesses such as Asperger's syndrome, schizophrenia or bipolar disorder.

If you are a libertarian, stop advocating libertarian candidates such as Gary Johnson and vote Hillary 2016.

Abandoning Minecraft is the next step, and probably the most important. If you have issues stopping, try seeking out group therapy.

Linux and open source software are the next factors to get rid of. The solution is simple: buy a Mac. Be sure to ignore FSF propaganda such as "Mac is for faggots"; this is FUD, pure and simple.

To stop watching anime is the hardest step and probably the most painful. StopNerds.org recommends that watching mentally healthy cartoons such as Kim Possible and South Park is the best and easiest way to counter any urge to watch sicko Japanese cartoons.

If you've successfully followed every step above, congratulations! Remember to revisit your psychologist to make sure that the mental illness has disappeared.

What happened to Jimmy?

Jimmy was able to overcome his mental illness. He has had three relationships with real women within two weeks.

Jimmy's support for Gary Johnson has ceased. He now holds sensible political opinions and votes for non-libertarian candidates only.

Since he is no longer tied to his computer, Jimmy has become a successful politician himself. He advocates long-term improvement of mental health in the US.